12 Nov 2012

mtv europe music awards — best and worst dressed

as i don't listen to horrible mainstream pop music, the only interesting part of the europe music awards last night were the outfits of the stars. here comes my personal best and worst dressed list.

3/10: sorry lena. definitely the right direction, but you look like a modern version of eva braun. why modern? because she probably washed her hair. you're too hipster for that.


4/10: nice try, but i'd prefer less plastic surgeries and a not so gay shirt. in addition, please decide if you want to be trendy with a too short pair of jeans or if you go with a classy, decent length. what you are showing us on the picture is as tasteless as kim kardashian's genetics. but at least you don't look like a nazi, so one point more than lena.


4/10: talk of the devil, and he is bound to appear. dear kim, getting the same grade as david hasselhoff must be so painful. but why did you put this enormous tail on your even more enormous ass? the points go the shoes and the hair & makeup which is flawless. but please consider your unnatural proportions when you get dressed. oh, and i've got a question: why are you famous?

2/10: what's that? a pyjama? i hate this dress. the print really makes me nervous, the material looks like very cheap polyester and it fits like a sack of potatoes. it's the worst dress of the whole evening. the clutch by h&m which is shaped like candy is pretty nice. but who is responsible for her hair & makeup? her grandmother?


6/10: nice try, carly. i like her styling, especially her hair. her dress would be pretty nice, too, if there wasn't this fabric. it looks exactly like the gift wrap paper i usually use for christmas. furthermore (and this is for all of you out there) keep your shoulders straight or you will ruin your whole appearance!

8/10: louise roe rocks the red carpet in a white dress, tribal style jewellery (which will become a major trend!) and an oversized snakeskin clutch. i love this stunning look except the 'in memory of angelina jolie'-slit including the ridiculous pose. it looked dumb at the oscars and it still does.

6/10: alicia keys knows how to hide superfluous pounds. her dress by stella mccartney performs magic and makes her look great. this is thanks to the nude and black applications. well done, but a bit boring.

9/10 and 3/10: rita ora really fascinated me. when she walked down the carpet before the show she looked magnificent. the dress on the left definitely was the best of the evening, especially because the woman inside knows how to wear such a pompous robe. i adore it.
then rita made her appearance after the show in this strange suit full of flowers which makes her look fat, older and somehow cheap. even her hair looks worse then before the show. how sad.

let's come to the bottom of taste. the ones i won't rate. the people i would be afraid of if i saw them on the street:
loreen (yes, the singer who tortures us with fucking 'euphoria') decided to wear no top but to tape her jacket on her nipples. i hope that hurt as much as my ears do when i have to listen to your song, my dear.
but the real highlight is her stomach. it is hairy! sorry, i don't care whether she shaves her more intimate areas, but a hairy stomach is very ugly. ewwww. at least it distracts me from this white stuff on her chest.
well, i won't write about them. they're from a reality television series broadcast on mtv. enough said?
did you witness any major fashion failures i didn't see? let me know!
pictures: getty images for mtv


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